Kramer solves the 'Vilano to St. Aug' traffic crisis

Narrow Satire


Kramer storms into Jerry’s apartment while Jerry bites on an apple

Kramer: Jerry, I finally figured out a solution to the traffic nightmare with people trying to leave Vilano.

Jerry: (yawning) Did you say something Kramer?

Kramer: Jerry! How can you be so insensitive! It’s bad enough those people can never leave their homes day or night unless it’s to go to Publix. Now you have to trivialize it!?

Jerry: Okay, I’m sorry. What is your solution?

Kramer: Well, we all know the City’s solution of a roundabout is not going to help. And to make it even worse they are installing HAWK signals that pedestrians can push to further slow traffic. It will be ten times worse than now. The only real solution is that residents can never leave their houses. And that’s fine, leaving the house is overrated anyway. It’s really just a perception issue.

Jerry: Yeah, you’re right, people never need to go shopping, go to a doctor, auto mechanic… GO TO WORK!

Kramer: You see Jerry, now you get it! It’s all perception! So how do we change perception? We give all Vilano and North Beach residents Virtual Reality glasses! We make them think they never need to leave their houses by making them think they have everything right there! Shops, restaurants, and heck they can even have massage parlors and casinos if they want! Problem solved!

Jerry: And I thought this was going to be another stupid idea… (frowning)

Kramer: Not this time Jerry! It feels good to help, and maybe they’ll throw a Kramer Day Parade for me downtown, or… maybe everyone can perceive it.

dave kosciolek